Screw the rebate, I'm holding out for a "bonus" check

What's in a name? Or any word, for that matter? A lot, it seems.

Take those rebate checks Uncle Sam will soon start mailing out. If the government really wants us to stimulate the economy by encouraging us to SPEND that money, they need a better name than "rebate."

Like "bonus."

In a recent experiment, social psychologist Nicholas Epley of the University of Chicago Graduate School of Business discovered that by calling a rebate a "bonus" recipients spent twice as much. That's a 100% increase!

Reason: A "rebate" was perceived as getting your own money back, so you were less likely to splurge. But a bonus -- hey, that's new money -- found money! Source: Marketplace.org

Wait a minute, you're thinking. You mean you can DOUBLE someone's spending -- just by substituting one word for another? Yes!

Finding and using exactly the right word(s) to stimulate spending is precisely what makes a good copywriter worth the money.

Your mustache doesn't match your garter belt, pal

Who says winters in Maine are boring?

Shocker: "Botox" contains BOtulism TOXin.

Another brand shoots itself in the foot. Botox, the popular anti-wrinkle drug, and its competitor, Myobloc, have both been officially linked to dangerous botulism symptoms. In a few cases, the symptoms were so bad that children given the drugs for muscle spasms have died, according to the Food & Drug Administration.

This should not be a shocker. Don't these wrinkle-challenged women (and men) realize that Botox stands for "botulism toxin?" Score one for truth in labeling, at least.

Don't they realize they're letting (in many cases, encouraging) their doctors to inject a deadly poison under their skin -- all in the name of vanity?

Is it the doctors? Haven't plastic surgeons been diligent enough in informing their patients about the risks?

Or is it those damnable TV ads for pharmaceuticals, the ones aimed directly at consumers. You know the type: "Ask your doctor whether this crap is right for you."

This kind of advertising is outlawed in every country in the world -- except two. (The other, I believe, is New Zealand.) And it ought to be outlawed here. Creating a demand for your product or service is one thing. Creating a demand for dangerous drugs is another. It seems to me it's only a short hop from there... to the creep dealing smack or crack on the street corner. He's creating a demand, too. "Psst. Hey, man -- the first one's free."

Where do you clean up a "dirty" brand? On the Internet!

Waste Management is not in the garbage-hauling business, thank you very much. It's actually an environmental services company. That's the brand-bending message contained in the $25-30 million a year the company spends on print and TV ads. To reinforce its message, the New York Times report, the ads highlight:

"... the amount of energy it generates from burning trash each year (enough to power one million homes), the amount of acreage it has set aside for wildlife habitats (more than 17,000 acres), the number of trees it has saved by recycling paper (41 million last year). It printed some of those facts on the sides of its trucks — all of which are now painted green, of course."

From a marketing standpoint, the company has its work cut out for it. Not only must it overcome a Tony Soprano-style image, there are still memories of those embarrassing Enron-style accounting strategies it employed in the 1990s. And WM's target audience is about as fuzzy as they come: influencers:

"(They're) the people who attend public hearings about landfill expansions, who try to have recycling legislation enacted, who lobby their churches or municipalities or school districts to be customers of “green” companies."

Now the company is pushing its message beyond TV to the Internet. It's buying ads on several leading newspaper sites including the NY Times, and is negotiating with broadcast and cable stations to put links to its site on their Web pages.

The broad reach and accessibility of the Internet is important, said a company spokesman, because “our goal is no longer just to educate, but to also create a preference for our company over our rivals.”

Sounds like marketing to me...